Wait For Me
by Nereyd
Summary: No one know what it's like to lose someone you love like Remus Lupin. Here is what he has to say about it. OotP spoilers. PG13 because that seems right.


Wait For Me  
  
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Hi here's a angsty little one shot fic about Remus Lupin, and how he feels after Sirius (suposedly) dies.  
  
I do not believe that Sirius is really dead, not one bit, but they think he is so obviously Remus is going to be sad about it. Oh yea, and I'm just guessing about his age.  
  
Disclaimer: No matter how much I would like to own this, I don't.  
  
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The trek up the hill was a slow one, even though the slope was not at all steep. No, there was just something about the small hill in the middle of the graveyard, a graveyard hidden to eyes without magic, that made you stop, to look around you at the many gravestones that peppered the land.   
  
In truth, many of them were empty, simply memorials made to those whose bodies had been destroyed, of simply never found. For the graveyard was one filled with the graves of those killed by Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters, and the man trudging slowly up the hill was none other than Remus Lupin.  
  
He looked older than his mere thirty years, his once vibrant brow hair now with many gray streaks and his robes shabby and patched. But who could blame a man who had been through so much to still look young, as if his memories were not scarred with loss and hurt.  
  
His solemn gray eyes traveled up the hill to its summit where two large monuments stood. Neither of the bodies to which they had been dedicated to were there. One was located in a small family graveyard in Godric's Hollow, and the other one had not been recovered.  
  
Both memorials were beautiful, but not extravagant, and had been paid for personally by Albus Dumbledore himself.  
  
The werewolf's led him to follow his eyes and he finally reached the top of the hill, where he kneeled down in front of the graves of his two best friends.  
  
"Hello" he said. "James, Sirius." He stopped, then started to speak again. "It's Harry's birthday today, and since he can't come himself, I thought i would stop by." He paused and glanced around him before continuing. "I also wnted to talk to you guys."  
  
  
  
Then the words that he had been holding back for so long just spilled out, all the thoughts he had kept locked inside his head since that awful day in the Department of Mysteries. He let them loose and the words spilled out of his mouth like a waterfall.  
  
"I miss you guys so much it hurts to just think about it. It feelas like someone cut me poen and ripped my heart in two, then took a huge chuck away, the part that you guys held.  
  
James, you've been gone for 15 years, but I still miss you like the day when I leardned that...that Voldemort found out where you were. And believe me, that hurt a lot. To lose one of your best friends?   
  
And Sirius, Padfoot, when you went to Azkaban, I never though I'd see you again, but that was different, I didn't miss you then, because I hated you."  
  
"I hated you for betraying us, for causing James and Lily to be killed. I hated you for joining Voldemort. I hated you for killing Peter and a;ll thoses muggles. I hated you for lying to us. I hated you for everything.  
  
And then, when I learned you were innocent. To have your best friend back after being alone so long? I felt so happy, like a miracle had given me ine of the only people I ever cared about back.  
  
And Peter? I didn't lose him, because I never got him back, but I couldn't miss him anyways. I hated himso much. I hated him more than I had hated you. I hated him for all the thinbgs I hated you for, I hated him for sendind you to Azkaban for so long, and leaving me alone. I still miss the person that he used to be, and I probably always will, but id didn't matter, because I had you back."  
  
"But now you're gone Sirius, and you're not coming back. How do you think it must feel to me, to lose you again, just when I'd got you back?"  
  
By now he had stood up and was pacing back and forth on the grass in front of the graves. tears pouring freely down his cheecks, but he continued.  
  
"Dumbledore and the Weasleys are very kind to me, everyone in the Order is, but its not the same. dumbledore accepted me inot the school, and gave me a job, even thought I was different, but you guys were my best friends, the only ones I had, the only ones who accepted me for who I am. In fact, you used the fact that I was a werewolf to bring us closer together. No one could ask for better friends that you.  
  
But now your gone and I'm alone again."  
  
Remus stood up slowly and headed down the hill. When he was about halfway down he turned his head back towards the top of the hill and called up:  
  
  
  
"Oh yea, and guys! Wait for me, because I hope to be there soon."   
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
